Materials & Research

SBelow are links to the materials and resources mentioned throughout  Life Beyond Narcissism Part 1 & 2 Podcasts and in Video 1, 2, & 3

So many life giving people have contributed their efforts providing resources, finance, time, tech, tools, conversations, honesty, and so much love, support and encouragement.  

AAll of this is possible because of the support of my husband (the Tall Guy) and my friend Michelle, who is also a Life Coach.  You can connect with here through Unencumbered Life Coaching.  

                                        

Some of the materials below you can get through my affiliate links.  If you purchase using my link, I earn a small commission.  Learn more about affiliate relationships here.

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Here is a link to Mayo Clinic's Page of NPD symptoms.

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  I would be remiss if I didn't mention we spent three years nurturing our spirit before we learned about all this soul/spirit shame stuff.  I highly recommend that!!!! Or in other words, building up the inner man first is a great place to start before the soul work begins. Here's an article with more info.

  

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Meaning from Madness: Understanding the Hidden Patterns That Motivate Abusers: Narcissists, Borderlines, and Sociopaths

Book by Richard Skerritt

"A substantial fraction of the people around us suffer from personality disorders. To cope, they distort both their reality and ours. Their behavior can be baffling and puzzling, and worse, they often abuse those closest to them. The author presents a new and effective way for people to understand and recognize the three of these disorders that often lead to abusive behavior. Describing each using a single dynamic - an underlying motivation - rather than a list of behaviors is an easier way to grasp and deal with these disorders. He then describes the psychological defense mechanisms that stabilize the distorted world created by the disordered, and explains how substance abuse adds fuel to the fire of disordered behavior. he also offers the latest thinking on the prospects for improvement with treatment, and a realistic perspective on the likelihood that the disordered will choose this path."


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Disarming the Narcissist (Third Edition): Surviving and Thriving with the 

Self-Absorbed   

"Do you know someone who is overly arrogant, shows an extreme lack of empathy, or exhibits an inflated sense of entitlement? Do they exploit others, or engage in magical thinking? These are all traits of narcissistic personality disorder, and when it comes to dealing with narcissists, it can be difficult to get your point across. So how do you handle the narcissistic people in your life? You might interact with them in social or professional settings, and you might even love one—so ignoring them isn’t really a practical solution. They're frustrating, and maybe even intimidating, but ultimately, you need to find a way of communicating effectively with them.

Disarming the Narcissist,, will show you how to move past the narcissist's defenses using compassionate, empathetic communication. You'll learn how narcissists view the world, how to navigate their coping styles, and why, oftentimes, it's sad and lonely being a narcissist. By learning to anticipate and avoid certain hot-button issues, you'll be able to relate to narcissists without triggering aggression. By validating some common narcissistic concerns, you'll also find out how to be heard in conversation with a narcissist.

This book will help you learn to meet your own needs while side-stepping unproductive power struggles and senseless arguments with someone who is at the center of his or her own universe. This new edition also includes new chapters on dealing with narcissistic women, aggressive and abusive narcissists, strategies for safety, and the link between narcissism and sex addiction.

Finally, you'll learn how to set limits with your narcissist and when it's time to draw the line on unacceptable behavior."


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You Might Be a Narcissist If... - How to Identify Narcissism in Ourselves and Others and What We Can Do About It

     

"Why is this relationship so hard? It is so invigorating to know that we don't have to stay stuck. Even if we're not the one struggling with narcissism, we can change the way we relate to the people who do. 

Find out if the stress in your relationships with family, friends, or at work is unknowingly caused from narcissism in yourself or others... Narcissism is actually much more common than we may think and, in reality, most of us have some of these characteristics. 

You Might Be a Narcissist If... was written by two psychotherapists and a psychiatrist with decades of both personal and professional experience with narcissism. It is filled with many interesting-to-read stories taken from the authors' or their clients' lives that clearly demonstrate examples of narcissism. A Narcissism Questionnaire and practical suggestions are given for dealing with narcissism whether it's in your spouse, a co-worker, or even yourself."

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Friends went though RTF's weeklong training.  They received this audio on shame and shared it with us.  I personally believe going through this info is WHY we have been able to make progress.

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Being a commodity in order to NOT trigger embarrassment is a common theme within narcissistic systems, whether in families, business or churches.  "The Office of Personhood" audio album by Sapphire Leadership Group explores the concepts and practical steps you can take to get yourself on track to be the person you were designed to be.  

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Part of our successes in dealing with the root and foundations of narcissism within ourselves is because hubby and I went through THIS.  We cannot recommend it highly enough!!!! 

When you're loved when you DO well but love is withheld when you do what is wrong in the eyes of your parents, a system/pattern of thinking develops:  "I am okay when I perform well." People who struggle with this way of thinking have a VERY hard time breaking it in adult life, as it's likely in the mental wiring. These people tend to be driven to succeed, avoid every situation where they might be embarrassed because they do not know how to perform with excellence, and often have NO idea what they really like. 

Taking some time to step back, slow down and learn about how to re-wire the pathways in our brain is a GREAT way to help build essential foundations which help develop maturity beyond narcissistic toddler patterns of behavior. 

What do YOU like? What do you dislike?  

These questions can be really challenging to answer when we are reared to focus only on what will NOT bring shame or upset to our emotionally immature parents. 

You can grow your own brain!  

You can develop the habits and skills needed to live according to the way YOU were made. 

The deficits in our upbringing do not have to keep us locked.

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